but yesterday, immediately after i had spent a couple of hours in the company of people who expected me (us) to try to learn things or at least be reasonably open to the possibility, i came face to face with a Bro.
now, this isn't personal. i can't help but make it personal in my head in the heat of the moment but i know intellectually that it isn't. the guy probably had a million better things to do than deal with me (us). his general Bro-ness was probably a coping mechanism to deal with the sudden turn his life took towards a position of responsibility. he might even be really good at his job, though my bet would be that he's "reasonably effective".
anyway, i stood there and watched this guy shut the ears and brains of everyone in hearing distance against the possibility of learning something new so thoroughly that blah blah blah i was outraged. i panicked: this couldn't be happening. i tried to speak, i spoke, i couldn't do it. it was over.
okay, so it was mostly that the Bro had no idea what he should be doing and we didn't do a good enough job of explaining. our collective instinct to play dumb (this here is actually one of the most hilarious things you can ever witness as a member of a crowd) played a role. but the day will come that we will have no other choice but to assume responsibility and we will be totally unprepared for it. it happens, right, bro? it happens. it happens to us all, it's totally fine, bro.
there's no such thing as too much information.* information is supposed to be our stock in trade, right? the unexamined life is not worth living.* this is the part of myself i have to keep an eye lest i get mobbed into a mental institution or a wooden box. such is life, bro.
*when i heard the first one, it was a polite counter, and i was charmed by its politeness and its contrariness. but it's also something i've known really well but never did articulate, and it's a fucking wonder (glory and hallelujah) that i got to hear it from someone else. the second one i was taught by someone who Did Not Get It, wouldn't know intellectual curiosity if it bit him where it really hurts; and it's still my moral compass, my deepest allegience and a lovely memento of Those Days. i was trained to analyze, analyze against the dying of the light; and it makes me prone to rationalizing and worse and it's just awful and
